Napkins, vases and lots of florals: Host the perfect desi dawat without hiring an event planner

There’s a certain kind of absurdity in backtracking through a home decor store, pretending you don’t already have enough napkin holders, while secretly fawning over table mats and those mother-of-pearl napkin rings that are basically screaming to be added to your collection. And while we’re here, let’s be honest, how many cylindrical vases is too many? That was a trick question, there’s no such thing as too many vases (my overflowing storeroom would not agree).

Believe it or not, I was stressing over place settings before secondary school. And by the time I was in A Levels, I was trusted enough to organise small family weddings. This was an honour, sure, but also a dig at my unsettling perfectionism.

The first step to the perfect dawat is all about the logistics. Set a date. This is either where all the fun starts—or where it all falls apart. Once you’ve got that sorted, figure out your guest list. Don’t stress about a guest or two – or even five going over your max capacity. Statistically, there’s always someone who’ll decline. Depending on your number, you’ll know if you need to hire a venue or if you can pull it off at home.

If you’re blessed with space – then congrats – you can save money by hosting it in-house. Which brings us to the ugly part of all this: the budget. Have a chat with anyone else involved in the decision-making, because trust me, there’s nothing more heartbreaking than thinking big only to be told there’s no money. If you’re the sole ruler of this domain, then bravo, you’ve just made life a lot easier.

Decor hoarding

Now, on to the part I take way too seriously – decor. Let me preface this by saying that throwing a successful party isn’t about how much you splurge on new decorations. In fact, that might be your downfall if you’re anything like me, constantly tempted by shiny new things. The trick? Economical yet versatile investments. Get pieces you can whip out for everything – from a dinner party to an outdoor wedding, to your kid’s Paw Patrol-themed birthday.

Remember those cylindrical vases I mentioned? Start with at least four. Trust me, you’ll end up cherishing them more than a first-born child. You can find them in places like Gul Plaza or Glass Tower.

And what’s a vase without some florals to fill it? Here’s where many rookie party planners go off the deep end. Don’t blow half your budget on fresh flowers. It’s a trap. Instead, stay behind in those same shops, where you’ll find artificial florals that look just as good but don’t require selling your soul. From baby’s breath to roses, they’ve got everything. Keep it subtle – two or three stems of a couple of varieties are more than enough. You’ll be able to use these again and again, and maybe even mix in some fresh flowers for a more authentic feel.

If your vases are looking a little empty (because you listened to the advice about not overbuying), simply run into your garden with a pair of scissors and start snipping any greenery in sight. No garden? Or no green thumb? Borrow from your neighbour. If their overgrown bush has already crept into your yard, no need to ask – consider it a favour to both of you.

When heirlooms come in handy

You’ve probably received a few random items from your mother over the years, wrapped in bubble wrap with stern instructions to keep them safe. Those forgotten trinkets that you pushed to the back of some dark cabinet, and as it turns out, the back of your mind are probably heirloom silver or “chandni” pieces. Whether it’s a tray, bowl, or even an old spoon, these pieces will give your table some serious gravitas. And sure, they might need a little polish, but just call them “vintage” and no one will be the wiser.

Napkins are also crucial. You don’t want your guests wiping qorma on their sleeves – or worse, your newly upholstered chairs. Forget paper – invest in cloth napkins, neutral in colour so they’ll match anything. Don’t stress if you can’t find any pre-made, buy fabric and have them stitched into nine-by-nine-inch squares. A sophisticated addition to your event that you can use over and over again. You’re probably wondering, “what about the stains?” Most stains end up coming out after a wash but if there’s a particularly defiant one (haldi), a quick google search will solve that problem.

When it comes to themes you can go big or subtle. But the most important thing for any event is the colour scheme. A themeless birthday is pretty straightforward. If for someone younger than 10 then go for stereotypical pink for girls and blue for boys. If they’re older, they might have a meltdown if you dare to choose an “uncool” colour. Then, play it safe by playing with neutrals. Silver, gold, black and white will be your saviours and you can never go wrong with them. They add a grand look to your party, and personally I have never heard someone utter the words, “ew silver” before.

Expect the best, prepare for the worst

For the star of the show: the food, keep it simple. You’re not Gordon Ramsay, and that’s okay. Stick to tried-and-true dishes you or your trusted home cook can manage. No fancy experiments—save that stress for another day. Some guests will never forgive you if you mess up the food, after all it was the only reason they turned up. If you’re really in a bind, order in, but be prepared for the budget hit.

If you have an unlucky streak like me, you’ll know to make arrangements and contingency plans for if anything goes wrong (it most definitely will). Someone brings an uninvited plus one? No problem, you catered for that anyway. The AC conks out in the middle of the hottest day of the year? That won’t happen because you just so happened to get it serviced the day before. The meringue for the dessert you were planning on serving broke just as you were taking it out of the oven? It’s okay, your pavlova is now being spun as an eton mess.